Adam Dzialo

Adam Dzialo
Our son, Adam Dzialo, age 30

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Wounded Healers ... Part II

Parents of young and older children with severe disabilities often suffer from the symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  I have renamed this issue as CTSD (Continuing Traumatic Stress Disorder) because it is a continuing event, "a wound which never really heals".  We are supposed to be safe, secure and healthy and a traumatic event at the birth of a child or a child's accident triggers the fact that we have lost control of our ability to be safe and to provide safety for our family.  Catastrophic thinking (the worst will happen), compulsive and repetitive thoughts, anxiety without a precipitating event, insomnia, hypervigiliance (so you can always be alert for disaster), etc. are effects of living with trauma which we can neither control nor fully understand.  Someone previously asked about available tools...here is a look into our kit.  This is not exhaustive, nor does it always work, nor is it appropriate for all.
  • Therapy...it's necessary to talk about trauma, to grieve, to despair, to stumble.  My learning from therapy: "We are all spiritual beings having a human experience."; "Sometimes, you can never get what you want."; "You and your son/daughter are one with you.".
  • Medication...it's important to interrupt those non-productive thinking patterns.  Over the years, many years, the patterns become less intense, less frequent.  It's ok to periodically have a mid-morning single malt scotch or 10mg of valium.
  • Acupuncture...a skilled practitioner can coax the chi ("life force") in your body into a higher gear.  This practice can help reduce anxiety, give energy and heal the many bodily ills that stress and constant vigilance take on the physical body.
  • Massage, shiatsu, body work...it feels good and is the closest thing to the concept of "vacation" that caregivers and parents of severely disabled children will avail themselves to.
  • Ritual...practices of some more esoteric belief systems can provide a means to "cut the chords" to people, events, situations which tie us down and prevent us from being free (i.e. Johrei).
  • Finally, the most esoteric (also the deepest healing)...Past life regression.  A very skilled clairvoyant can allow us to see that we and our children have chosen this life, these events and each other at a time long before physical birth.  He/she can also open the path to "see" our other lives, how we encountered each other eons ago and how what is happening makes sense in timeless dimensions.  This journey is not for everyone.
  • Postscript:  My wife's upcoming book, Ceramic to Clay also shares many insights into the journey to healing ourselves and our disabled children.  We anticipate a publication date of several weeks hence and will post the links on this blog.

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