People who should be sociologically close often avoid all attempts to be useful or helpful. They view you as strong, and capable and able to handle any emergency, be it a long term or short term emergency. Their view is skewed in this inept direction because it provides a convenient rationale for never stepping up to the plate. The one thing that these "people who should be sociologically close" have and readily offer is a litany of platitudes and meaningless expressions which serve only to piss ya the f..k off. Here are some of big offenders:
Pray for miracles & Ask and you shall receive: Yeah, right! First, you have to believe in a personal god and I don't. Second, you have to believe in miracles, and I don't. Did you ever hear about the miracle where god re-grew an arm that was amputated above the elbow? Or how about the eye that was poked out by a stick and re-grew? And the asking/receiving thing? I've been asking to hit the big lottery for years even promising to give money away...haven't received anything yet. Is 13 years of asking not long enough?
I don't know how you do it, they'd have to put me in a rubber room: You do it because you love your son and because it's the right thing to do. You sociologically close people could learn to do it for a few days, so that we could get away without the kid for a weekend. We could teach you, you could learn, it's not rocket science. How's this: Get Over It! Stop being a marshmallow 'fraidy cat and step up, we deserve a weekend off every thirteen years. Don't we, sociologically related people?
Calm down, Time heals all wounds, Life is short! The trinity of phrases which are often offered when people's blatant indifference toward you and your son rankles your soul. You either confront them or walk away from the negative energy. Everyone wants everything to be mellow and superficial. Well, I have not the time for mellow, superficial folk. I have no time to gossip or spread rumors about sociologically bonded people. I will not calm down in the face of indifference; time will not heal the wounds of indifference; and, life is not short...it is endless. So be a part of the journey and move forward with us or get the hell out of the way. Help, be positive and be supportive. If you can't do all three, stay away.
God helps those who help themselves! Not true....
You need to get more help! So right, my sociologically bonded unit...so get off your ass, come down for a week and take care of us so we can take better and more relaxed care of Adam. You have no idea about finding, hiring, training, trusting someone to care for a kid who can't move nor speak. Applicants are often dirty, stupid and chronically unemployed and chemically dependent. It's easier to get a dog-sitter, but not by much. We have gone through more care-givers than you have moles.
I know how you feel! I know what it's like! Unless you are part of that .05% of the population who walks in "our shoes" or "moccasins" you do not have a clue nor will you ever. I would, however, like to give you a brief experience. Please ask.....
You should join a support group! Ok, will you mind my son while I am commiserating with other parents of severely disabled kids?
Get over it! Get on with you life! Up yours, and I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's. I am moving on with my life daily. I could just use a periodic reprieve. We all need a break from ourselves.
I'm sure that parents of severely disabled kids have faced these and many other platitudes as excuses for avoidance of involvement with people like us. It's probably better to say nothing that to say something which triggers and irritates. So just to be on the up and up, this is a partial list. You can help me by adding more.
The following are my rebuttals to those who have incensed me with trivial statements about life: